5 Safe Behaviours to Manage Over-the-Top Emotions and Self-Harm.

This post isn’t for everyone.  But if you struggle with emotional regulation, or perhaps self-harm, you might know what it's like to have emotions bubble over the top and feel uncontrollable.  Therapies like DBT and skills classes can help.  But in a  moment where everything feels too much to handle, we need quick and easy solutions.  And I promise not to tell you to snap a rubber band on your wrist (because I’ve heard that advice about 8 gazillion times).  Instead, here are my suggestions:

 1. Chew bubble gum.

A lot of it. Blow bubbles. Keep adding gum until you're drooling and your jaw hurts from chewing. It’s a strange technique but it works as a distraction from the pain.

 2. Run your hands under cold water and scream if you can. 

This is painful without being destructive. The screaming is cathartic, but not possible in every setting.

3. Masturbate.

This offers a similar sort of build up and release as self-harm, but without the harming part. Plus, orgasms are great self-care. 

 4. Vigorous exercise.

At one point in my healing journey we hung a punching bag in the living room. I would take my big emotions out on the boxing bag instead of behaviours I’d later regret.  Sometimes self-care is not punching a hole in the drywall.

5. Rage nap.

If you are emotionally exhausted and everything feels too big, consider a nap as a reboot button on your emotions.  It may seem counterintuitive to nap when your emotions are raging, but try laying down in a dark room and see what happens. 

You are not alone.

When big emotions hit, the name of the game is damage control. How can we feel what we need to feel without engaging in behaviours that hurt ourselves and others? 

One thing that helps is to make a list of the coping strategies you are willing to try and keep it handy for when big emotions hit. Or mention to a friend that your planning to try such a technique so they can remind you when things get hard. 

Navigating big emotions is hard work.  The fact that you’ve made it here to read this today tells me that you are already brave and resilient.  Hang in there friend - You’ve got this.