Emotional Regulation: Self-Soothing Using our Senses
Self soothing is a set of skills and strategies that helps us feel safe and calm and relaxed. It’s not uncommon to struggle with this, especially if you spent your childhood learning survival skills instead of the coping skills you needed. It’s not too late to learn to self-soothe during difficult times. Here are some fool-proof ways to self-soothe with your senses.
Self-Soothing through Vision
Make a collage of visuals that are pleasing to you.
Cover a corkboard in pictures, fabrics, quotes and other visual things that please you.
Visit a place with a stunning view, like a lookout point or the beach.
Visit an art gallery.
Buy or borrow from the library a book on photography with beautiful images.
Make a painting with colours or themes that soothe you.
Use a digital frame to showcase pictures of people you love.
Watch Bob Ross paint a painting. (Bonus, this falls under hearing too because his voice is so soothing!)
Self-Soothing through Touch
Feel something soft around you: your blanket or sweater or pet.
Take a warm shower and enjoy the sensation.
Take a bath. (Engage your sense of smell too with bubbles, bathbombs, or essential oils.)
Hug someone you love.
Get a massage or use a muscle roller. Not everyone finds being touched by others soothing and that is normal.
Self-Soothing through Smell
Burn scented candles, use incense, or an oil diffuser. Find scents that are soothing to you. My favoutite is bergamot.
Wear a perfume that makes you feel good.
Walk past a bakery or restaurant and soak in the smell.
Bake some banana bread or cookies so your house smells good. (Bonus, you get to eat them!)
Go outside and smell the leaves, flowers, grass, air.
Fill a vase with fresh cut scented flowers. I love lilacs and peonies.
Self-Soothing through Hearing
Make a soothing playlist. My daughter and I made one on Spotify called “Soothing with Esther” if you need ideas to get started.
Listen to podcasts or audio books that your interested in that don’t upset you.
Listen to the birds. Use the Merlin Bird ID app to identify their calls.
Listen to white noise. Or, as my daughter likes to recommend, pink noise, which is white noise except it’s pink. Check out the Pink Noise App by Hipxel
Listen to a guided meditation. The app Insight Timer has tons of options.
Self-Soothing through Taste
Have a favourite hot drink: tea, coffee, hot chocolate or hot apple cider. My favourite is the Caramel Apple Spice from starbucks.
Eat your favourite meal slowly.
Seek out something seasonal and enjoy it a peak taste.
Bake something that makes you feel safe and cozy.
Conclusion
Not every idea on this list will appeal to you, and that’s normal. I recommend taking a piece of paper and writing down the items above that sound pleasing and doable to you. Keep this list in a safe place, so that when you are already struggling you don’t need to come up with strategies to cope, they are already chosen for you.
Learning to self-soothe in adulthood is not as uncommon as you might think. Many of us have to work intentionally at it. So give these things a try, and remember, you are not alone.
