The Unexpected Ways Social Media Can Trigger Childhood Trauma

A few years ago, as part of my work as an Executive Director at a drop-in center, I was reading articles to better understand how service environments can unintentionally retraumatize individuals, especially those who have survived childhood abuse. As I explored how power dynamics, feeling unheard, or being judged can trigger a trauma response, something profound happened—I began to realize that my own past traumas were being triggered not just in service environments, but on social media.

I started to see how my childhood experiences of being gaslit, misunderstood, and criticized were showing up for me online. Here's why social media can feel like a disturbing step backward into those old, painful patterns for anyone who has been hurt in the past:

On social media, facts are unimportant.

For those of us who have been gaslit in the past—told that our experiences and feelings didn’t matter—facts were our anchor. Research, evidence, and the pursuit of truth were our safety nets. Social media, however, operates in a different space. In a world that often disregards facts, misinformation and misquotes are rampant. I’ve often jumped in to correct a claim or clarify facts, only to be shut down and berated for doing so. What I’ve learned is that the defenses I developed as a child, like being thorough and paying attention to details, are sometimes criticized as being "too much" or even “overthinking” online.

On social media, feelings are debatable.

One of the most painful experiences in childhood trauma is having your feelings invalidated. Social media, with its wide audience and anonymous users, is a space where anyone can challenge your feelings, argue with your personal experiences, and call your emotions “wrong.” This can feel incredibly isolating, especially for those of us who spent years trying to have our experiences recognized and accepted. The anonymity on social media opens the door to invalidation, something that many of us experienced as children. It's easy to fall back into old patterns of believing that we're wrong to feel what we feel.

On social media, there is a lack of shared meaning.

The pithy, bite-sized content that makes up social media often lacks depth and context. Words or phrases that are meant to be empowering for some can be triggering for others. This lack of shared meaning can feel like a replay of my childhood, where I longed for love and validation, only to receive an understanding of love that didn’t meet my needs. In that sense, social media—like my childhood—becomes a space where something said with the best of intentions can be interpreted in ways that leave us confused, hurt, or even questioning our sanity.

What Can We Do About This?

So, if you’re like me and social media is part of your daily life, what do we do with this awareness? Do we give up social media for the sake of our emotional well-being? Perhaps. But many of us find connection, community, and even support through these platforms. If you’re choosing to stay engaged, here are some simple strategies to protect yourself:

1. Set boundaries for compassion and dignity.
   Expect respect and kindness in your interactions. If someone can’t meet that basic standard, it’s okay to block them. You’re not obligated to tolerate negativity or toxicity online.
   

2. Don’t feed the trolls.
   Once, I found myself getting really upset by an argument online until my husband pointed out, "Honey, you're arguing with someone named Grumpy The Troll. What do you expect?" Now, I avoid engaging with profiles that seem fake, new, or suspicious. I only have time for thoughtful, respectful conversations.
   

3. Recognize your trauma responses.
   Our reactions to things online can sometimes have more to do with past experiences than the current situation. Practice self-awareness and remind yourself that you are safe. Those comments from strangers don’t need to trigger the same emotional response they once did.
   

4. Take breaks when needed.
   You don’t need to finish every conversation or scroll through endless posts when it starts to upset you. It’s okay to step away. Your peace of mind is worth prioritizing.
   

5. Speak up when it matters.
   Be the voice you needed when you were younger. Sometimes, when your inner child needs to be heard, step in and respond with the wisdom and strength of the adult you are now. It doesn’t have to be every time, but when it matters most, stand up for yourself. Show that inner child they matter, too.

Social media can be a wonderful way to connect, share, and learn from others, but it’s also a space where our old wounds can resurface. If you’ve experienced trauma, it’s important to stay aware of how these platforms affect you and take steps to care for your emotional well-being. The same compassion and respect we crave offline should be part of how we engage online—always with ourselves and with others.